Lack of emotions?

These days i've just been feeling like I've got a lack of emotions.. Just like I've got some problem breathing in the air from my lungs, and some pain in my chest.. Ive been feeling like this for ages but this pain began around 5 months ago! Ive got no idea about it.. Just guessing its the after effects of depression!
Someone just told me yesterday that my lack of emotions isn't a bad thing- that its great! that its what everyone wants.. Well i just replied that people in general want something, which they simply regret after receiving...
But it got me thinking. What if, I am just not receptive to some emotions now..? Some things that I went through, made me understand that pain is necessary for our growth as humans, as individuals... To improve! So maybe thats why I don't feel sad or happy or angry anymore?

I don't know about you, but just doesn't seem that way to me... Seems plain wrong!

Just Fine

I've always wanted someone special

To walk next to me..
Someone who'd follow my footsteps
Someone who'd take the lead.

But as time went on
The thoughts seemed to end,
Especially a night
After I talked to a friend...

I told him I felt sad,
That I didnt have her near,
A person so special,
And to my heart, so dear..

He told me to stop,
He said I should not think.
Because my special person is perfect,
When Ill see her Ill just blink...

He told me to quit being sad
He said it was a lost cause;
He said your person will be special,

Only to you because:

She'll enter your life unknowing,
But she'll turn it inside out.
When you'll hurt her you'll fall down flat,
When she'll laugh you'll fall more in love...

So since that fateful day,
I stopped my dreams untrue,
Since I wanted my memory
To be full only of you...

Because yes, you're my special person
You've turned me inside out.
I've loved you always,
Especially when you're in your doubt...

You're perfect, and you're mine,
Together, we're just divine!

Even though these nights are so unkind..
We'll forget all those days we left behind!
Cuz you and me, we're just fine, we're just fine...
Just fine...

x-x

This was written by me quite a while back! Atleast a year and a half, maybe more, ago.


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Note to self?

A year or so ago I just "went through the motions" as they say and felt a few really crazy things I never thought I'd feel.. And I had posted about it here.. A few months after that I took down those posts because they were really personal and intense.. and so I didnt think they should be up.. I also wanted to forget about them so I totally erased them!

Now, all I can think is finding them, because they were an expression of my self..

So, note to self: Never delete a post completely!